There are three causes of forgetting that memory science strangely never mentions.

Oh sure, the scientists talk about short term memory and long term memory.

Retrieval failure and ineffective coding.

Motivated forgetting and memory loss due to brain trauma, not unlike the kind we learned about in this episode of the Magnetic Memory Method Podcast (and how to bounce back from it):

All important stuff.

But let me ask you this:

What About The Real Causes Of Forgetting?

 

To find out, you’ve got to be a bit of detective.

I’m going to suggest three of the biggest causes, but at the end of the day, you also need to seek out the causes in your own life.

Like a detective.

But the following three are widely unknown, and the best time to start ousting them from your life is now.

The first is simple:

It’s general mental and memory fitness.

But the majority of people?

They’re doing nothing about it.

And get this:

 

Not Exercising Your Memory Is A HUGE Mistake

 

Why?

Well, let me ask you something:

You know all those little slips all memory experts make from time to time?

They’re nothing.

N-o-t-h-i-n-g.

Certainly nothing like the Garden of Oblivion featured on this Wiki page about forgetting some people make it out to seem:

Definitely not a problem compared to the mountains a person with decent memory skills can move when push comes to shove.

But if you’re not keeping your mind fit with organic memory exercise – not “apps” – you’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’.

The solution?

Develop some organic memory fitness instead. To help, here are 5 Memory Improvement Exercises That Don’t Require Another Annoying App.

 

The Big Fat Memory Lie People Love To Tell

 

A lot of people out their aren’t telling the truth.

They’ll tell anyone who’ll listen about having a weak or bad memory.

Look:

It’s bad enough if you lie to yourself.

But lying to others?

That’s a big problem.

Why?

Because those to whom you lie might actually hold you accountable to the things you tell them about your memory.

Never Ever (Ever!) Insult Your Memory

 

Look, I know it seems innocent enough, but telling people you have a bad memory is far from in.

In fact, it’s a crime.

Why?

Because your thoughts matter and you should NEVER insult your memory.

 

How To Stop Lying About Your Memory

 

Instead of saying, “I can’t remember” and things like that, try something else.

When memory “fails,” try saying things like, “I’m sorry. I’m always exercising my memory. It’ll come back to me.”

I promise.

By doing this, you’ll create an entirely new and more powerful relationship with your memory.

This new relationship will make you very happy and bring you immense success.

 

How To Chill Out And Remember More

 

Do you want to know why memory improvement seems like such a drag when others teach it?

Because they put so much pressure on making it happen.

No. Oh no. Please no.

We’re not in a competition here, not in the Magnetic Memory Method universe.

Sure, the Magnetic Memory Method can help you win competitions. I’m happy to announce that my memory training has contributed to such triumphs not once, but twice:

That’s a happy side effect, and one I’m proud of.

By my core focus falls on getting you to relax your memory so you can slide important info into long term memory.

Info you want to stay for awhile.

Not Bland, Boring And Mind-Butchering Info You’ll Never Use!

 

In some cases (like when you’re learning a language or skill), you want that info to stay forever.

The blunt, cold hard truth:

If you’re as rigid as a rock, it never will. Information will bounce off your brain faster than you can blink.

So here’s what I suggest:

Learn how to concentrate and improve memory Buddha-style.

Then leave a comment below and tell me what you think.

Are you making any of the 3 memory mistakes that cause so much forgetting?

And let me know:

What do you need to help you remove these mistakes?

If it’s a memory improvement video course, just click on the image below to get started:

But please promise me one thing:

Promise that you’ll stay away from memory supplement pills.

Trust me.

Not only does taking them put a burden on your memory (you have to remember to take them, after all).

But they don’t get at the root causes of why we forget and all the core factors that influence forgetting.

Look forward to hearing from you in the comments and talk soon!

Sincerely,

Anthony

P.S. Do you have this book?

 

The post 3 Causes Of Forgetting Science Never Mentions And How To Stop Them appeared first on Magnetic Memory Method - How to Memorize With A Memory Palace.

Human anatomy isn’t exactly linear, is it?

I mean, we love using the term “from head to toe,” but…

When it comes to everything that happens between these two parts…

There aren’t a whole lot of straight lines.

That’s why we need a dedicated Memory Palace strategy when it comes to memorizing human anatomy.

And even if the human body is ultimately a whole unit, it is built from multiple systems.

That’s great because the Magnetic Memory Method operates from the basis of multiple Memory Palaces.

(I prefer to think of these Memory Palace systems as “networks” because of how one Memory Palace strengthens the other.)

Here’s the raw truth:

If you’re using just one Memory Palace, you’re not even close to the awesome power of multiple locations optimized for memorizing information like human anatomy.

But first things first:

 

Why Use A Memory Palace For Human Anatomy?

 

When you look at the alternatives, the most direct and honest answer is this:

Because Memory Palace systems and mnemonics are quite simply more fun.

More fun than software.

More fun than flash cards.

More fun than the stress and strain of forgetting the words again and again (especially if you have medical exams looming).

But the reality is this:

 

Not All People Love Using A Memory Palace
For Human Anatomy!

 

And you know?

As shocking as we mnemonists find this to be, it’s totally normal.

You don’t have to enjoy the process to get results.

But it certainly helps.

And you’ll probably find that the reason you don’t like using memory techniques for human anatomy is simply that you find it a boring topic.

If that’s the case, then it’s not the mnemonics to blame. And it’s probably time to start thinking about how to live a life worth remembering.

 

What Is A Memory Palace?

 

Assuming you’re on board to use memory techniques for human anatomy whether you love mnemonics or not, it’s useful to know exactly what we’re talking about.

Unfortunately, the term “Memory Palace” is poorly misunderstood. This leads to a lot of questions, for which “yes” is usually the answer.

Yes, you can reuse Memory Palaces (just watch out for the Ugly Sister Effect).

Yes, a Memory Palace is something that you create in your mind.

Yes, it is ideally based on a place that you’ve seen before.

Yes, you can make virtual Memory Palaces (or even Memory Palaces based on movies and TV series).

But at their core, Memory Palaces are really just points in space. You are turning spatial coordinates already known to you (thanks to a free resource called spatial memory) into mnemonic devices, one Magnetic Station at a time.

The Goal With Proper Memory Palace Creation Is Simple:

 

You use your spatial memory to help create efficient Memory Palaces that REDUCE cognitive overwhelm.

This point is significant because most people create Memory Palaces in ways that INCREASE cognitive overwhelm.

That’s because they’re trying to imagine the Memory Palaces at the same time as the Magnetic Imagery used in Memory Palaces.

And that, Magnetic friend, is a huge no-no.

(More on avoiding that huge no-no in a bit.)

 

How To Create A Memory Palace For Human Anatomy

 

The topic is best learned with some Memory Palaces up on the screen and a “homework” assignment. Just click here to get started:

Once you’ve taken the free course and submitted your assignment, the only thing left to do is create multiple Memory Palaces and use them.

 

How To Know How Many Memory Palaces You Need

 

To create your Memory Palace networks in the best possible way, it’s good to decide how many Memory Palaces you need in advance. Here’s a YouTube Live discussion we help that will help you understand the concept:

To put this part of the art of memory into the context of human anatomy, let’s say you’re going to become an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist.

I’m not a specialist myself, but even without invoking Digital Amnesia by using Google to hunt down some info, it’s safe to guess that I’ll want to memorize the anatomy and systems related to the:

• Inner Ear
• Middle Ear
• Outer Ear
• Nose
• Throat
• Mouth
• Skull

So, keeping it simple for the sake of creating an example, that’s at least seven Memory Palaces.

Or is it?

I ask because it looks like the entire ear could be covered by a single Memory Palace.

Myself, I would start with the outer ear and focus on the three most important parts on most ear diagrams I’ve seen:

• Auricle
• Auditory canal
• Tympanic membrane

All three could fit in a single room based on three Magnetic Stations (or less).

In the next room, I would have the middle ear, but probably divide this into two rooms because the ossicles have parts of their own: malleus, incus, stapes.

And the ossicle bones don’t stop with just 3 names! They are also called the hammer, anvil and stirrup. For that, I would probably use the Pillar Technique.

Ultimately, the exact management comes down to your experience using these techniques.

 

Using The Power Of Pre-Organized Structures

 

If you’re using the Magnetic Memory Method, you could alphabetize your Memory Palace network. In this case, it probably will not make sense alphabetize the information inside of each Memory Palace, but it is an option depending on your Mnemonic Style.

The reason the alphabet is such a powerful tool is this:

Just as you know the buildings from which you create Memory Palaces by heart, you also know the alphabet by heart.

This simple fact means that when you’re practicing Recall Rehearsal, you can easily progress through the Memory Palaces in an order.

You can also create a mnemonic hook built into the network that tells you which Memory Palace needs to be renewed next.

Again, everything begins with knowing how much you need to know so that you can get your Memory Palaces created and tethered to the information you need to learn.

From there, you can proceed based on the robust foundation of pre-organized structures in the world such as the alphabet.

 

How To Use A Memory Palace For Human Anatomy

 

The next step involves creating Magnetic Imagery.

What is Magnetic Imagery?

It’s incredibly easy.

Let’s say you want to memorize the three parts of the ossicle (all six names).

You would next create a Magnetic Image while mentally considering a point in space in a Memory Palace.

You don’t have to literally “see” these things in your mind. And yes, you can get results from this technique even if you have aphantasia:

All that matters is that you can tap into your Magnetic Modes and start to create Magnetic Imagery that is:

• Bright
• Vibrant
• Dynamic
• Big
• Colorful
• Crazy
• Strange
• Emotional
• Physical
• Animated
• Forceful
• Loud
• Rhyming
• Punning

And beginning to play with these terms now…

I am thinking of my own Ear, Nose and Throat specialist from when I was a kid…

In one corner of his examination room, I begin to imagine Malcolm McDowell wrestling with an eel…

Now he’s smashing the Toys R Us logo into the eel using a plastic toy “hammer”…

Like this:

Malcolm + eel + hammer + Toys R Us logo = Malleus and hammer.

Sure, that’s a picture, but I’m not really “seeing” it in my mind. I’m feeling it, hearing it, sensing it, playing with it as a concept.

Put all of these sensory elements together with your spatial memory in a Memory Palace and you will be able to encode and decode any information in a way that enters long term memory fast. In fact, there techniques are …

 

So Simple, Even A Child Can Do It!

 

Really, there’s no reason to struggle with using memory techniques for human anatomy.

You’ve just got to get your strategy sorted out.

And I know that a lot of people think it takes too much time…

Looking at the amount to be learned…

Making some projections and equations…

Creating the Memory Palaces for anatomy…

They think it’s going to be too much work.

But here’s the thing:

 

If It Feels Like Work… You’re Doing It Wrong!

 

I make no apology for this declaration. It just simply is the case that mnemonics for any subject are never hard. And they’re certainly NEVER work.

You’re at play in the fields of your mind!

You just need to understand something Tony Buzan once suggested:

 

The Rules Set You Free

 

And speaking of rules, there’s just one more set you need to understand.

Once you’ve got your Memory Palaces up and running…

Once you’re filling them up with memorable Magnetic Imagery so that you can learn and encode all the human anatomy words that you need linked with the areas of the body to which they correspond…

You need only get those words into long-term memory.

It’s really easy.

 

The Memory Magic Of Recall Rehearsal

 

Just revisit the Magnetic Imagery you created in your Memory Palaces.

As with how you will develop your own mnemonic style over time, you’ll also develop your own style of Recall Rehearsal.

You’ll learn exactly how many times you need to revisit the information in order for it to stick.

And you always have ways to speed up the process using the Big Five Of Learning that I teach throughout the Magnetic Memory Method trainings.

Follow these principles using your Memory Palace network and you will never forget human anatomy again.

On the other hand, fail to follow these principles, and you can hope for the best with the flash cards, spaced-repetition software and other techniques that you hate because they keep letting you down.

These tools can be good, but we must admit one thing: They are built for use in environments that create digital amnesia.

But understand this:

 

A Good Memory Palace And Mnemonics Practice
Will Never Let You Down!

 

Not if you’re using them well.

And using them well means that you’re making your memory more and more Magnetic each and every time you sit down to study.

It’s really that easy.

Again, if you need help understanding Memory Palace creation, please take the free course. Or if you prefer ongoing support, consider subscribing to the Magnetic Memory Method Print Newsletter.

Enjoy your new ability to use a Memory Palace to memorize human anatomy and talk soon!

The post How to Create A Memory Palace For Memorizing Human Anatomy appeared first on Magnetic Memory Method - How to Memorize With A Memory Palace.

Nothing is more valuable than the benefit of hindsight from someone with experience, especially if you want to become a mnemonics dictionary.

I know because I’ve been there. I used to struggle.

Big time.

But then something changed.

And these days, many people marvel at how rapidly I toss out powerful mnemonic examples on demand.

The truth:

I trained myself to do it.

And I’ve trained thousands of others since then to unlock this simple power.

The only problem is…

A lot of people never reach their goal of being about to pop out reliable Magnetic Imagery (a.k.a. mnemonic imagery) because they get the impression that creating mnemonics is too hard.

(That’s too bad, because the truth is, you don’t even have to have a dictionary full of images in your mind in order to mnemonics to work.)

People also worry that creating effective mnemonics takes too much time, even though all the evidence in the world shows that if you’ll just learn the skill, it gets faster and faster.

 

Here’s What Most Unsuccessful People Do… 

 

They go running all over the Internet looking for a mnemonic generator or mnemonics dictionary, never understanding that true skill with memory techniques comes from honing your “mnemonics psychology,” a.k.a memory improvement mindset.

And let’s not even try to dodge one basic truth:

Becoming a person who can create useful mnemonics on the fly (even faster than they can create an impromptu Memory Palace) requires some personal power.

After all, you’re summoning up the best powers of your imagination, after all. And that takes…

 

A Magnetic Fountain Of Mental Energy!

 

The truth is that getting started can feel like effort.

And some beginners with mnemonics need more energy than others.

But here’s the thing:

The effort needed when using memory techniques like a Memory Palace all amount to a special kind of effort.

A kind of effort that is not only easy and fun to employ, but one that gets easier over time as you transform into a mnemonics dictionary.

 

What Is A Mnemonics Dictionary?

 

 

Basically, most mnemonics dictionaries serve as a crutch.

Some mnemonics dictionaries show you pictures that will help you remember words. They could be for medical terminology or help remembering vocabulary while learning a language.

For Chinese, Chineasy essentially serves that function. I’ve made my own version for MandarinHQ’s Real Spoken Chinese Vault with special video walkthroughs.

But the difference between Chineasy and the kind of mnemonics dictionaries I create is this:

Whereas others tend to throw you piles of mnemonic examples on end without helping you understand your mnemonic style, I teach you the skill behind creating the mnemonics.

Not only so you can develop your own mnemonics dictionary for a language you’re studying or a particular body of expertise.

But so that you actually understand how your memory and imagination work and can ultimately teach these simple skills to others.

That leads to pure happiness. Seriously, just look at these smiles:

Best part?

When you learn how to fish instead of letting someone fish for you, the reduction in effort happens fast.

And you come to understand one fundamental truth most people don’t know:

You’re Using Mnemonics All The Time Anyway!

 

You just don’t realize it.

And you probably don’t have a positive outlook on what “effort” really means.

 

The Truth About “Effort” Everyone Who Wants
To Be A Mnemonics Dictionary Needs To Know

 

The effort involved in using mnemonics is like kissing or eating chocolate. Once you understand this simple point, you become the world’s best mnemonic generator.

And because you’ll remember all the mnemonics you’ll create, you’ll also become the world’s greatest mnemonics dictionary.

It’s Really Simple To Understand
That Math, Isn’t It? 

Whether it’s kissing or eating chocolate, in both cases, you’re using the muscles of your mouth.

And in both cases, your mouth requires energy.

But even though effort is involved, you hardly notice the effort because the experience of kissing and tasting the chocolate feels so good.

Whipping Out Magnetic Imagery Like A Human Mnemonics Dictionary Feels Even Better! 

 

Seriously. Get this simple point and you will quickly become a walking, talking mnemonics dictionary.

And the wonderful after effects linger for a long time too.

But I still have my regrets. I experienced painful learning curves. I sometimes got frustrated.

Here’s the thing:

 

Becoming A Mnemonics Dictionary Is
A Journey, Not A Destination

 

It doesn’t have to take long to get rolling (2-5 hours with the Magnetic Memory Method). But it is a skill that you grow with over time.

More than a decade in, I’m still growing myself.

And trust me:

If you’re still a beginner, you can’t even imagine all the things memory techniques will do for you when you’re just at the beginning.

Best part:

When you stay on the path with mnemonics, you have so many things to look forward to. More than you could ever imagine.

But if you’re still sitting on the fence about becoming a mnemonics dictionary, these 5 things I wish I knew before starting with mnemonics will help you.

As always, everything starts with the foundations of the Memory Palace.

1. No One Cares About The Size Of Your Memory Palace

 

When people start out with mnemonics, they usually start working on one MASSIVE Memory Palace.

I made this mistake myself once in awhile at the beginning, and have at times have created mega-sized Memory Palaces.

But almost every time…

The bigger the Memory Palace, the harder it was to use. They were effectively useless.

Small is almost always better, like this one from a Magnetic Memory Method student:

What I’ve learned is that a Memory Palace is usually most effective when it is:

* Small in size
* Based on corners and larger fixtures
* Used for memorizing tactically chosen information
* Used for drilling immediately useful information into long-term memory

But that shopping mall? Grand Central Station? Tiergarten?

No – they’re all far too massive for the beginner mind to conceive.

And that means you have less time and attention to focus on what matters. Instead, work on developing…

 

The Skill Set Of A Mnemonics Dictionary Master!

 

For the mind of a memory skills master, massive Memory Palaces are indeed interesting, but not nearly as useful as smaller Memory Palaces for the same reason.

The focus should always be on the Magnetic Imagery, not on the Memory Palace.

Because even if the Memory Palace technique is the ultimate foundation, here’s the truth:

Memory Palaces Are Just One Tool
In The Toolbox Of Mnemonics

 

And without mastering them and moving past this skill, you never quite get to the part that matters:

Using Magnetic Imagery so that you can have a mnemonics dictionary in your head.

Frankly, your Memory Palace should be like a constellation. You should create it with enough simplicity that you can see and feel it in the same way you see the Big Dipper.

In other words, you know it’s the Big Dipper at a glance, WITHOUT having to impose a spoon on the constellation.

Where does my biggest Memory Palace cap out?

50 Magnetic Stations appears to be my general sweet spot.

(Yes, I have a magnificent Memory Palace with 58 Magnetic Stations, but 5 rooms with 10 Stations in each is a solid number when you can get it.)

And as luck would have it, you usually have no problem putting that together in an apartment or home.

 

The Mnemonic Magic Of Drilling Down

 

But here’s the thing:

I’ve recently been enjoying great benefits from thinking of individual rooms as a Memory Palace.

Whereas in the past, I would have considered my entire apartment a Memory Palace, I now think of the studio, bathroom, kitchen, etc. as their own independent Memory Palaces.

My current apartment is still held for the exclusive purpose of learning Chinese, but I’ve found that shifting from “apartment as Memory Palace” to “room as Memory Palace” has made Recall Rehearsal much more fruitful.

 

2. The Map Is Not The Territory

 

Over the years, I’ve made many Memory Palaces that have never been used.

This is a good thing!

Why?

Because Memory Palace creation is a mnemonic skill until itself. Memory Palace creation exercises your spatial memory and keeps you thinking about the most important mnemonic strategy we’ve got: location-based mnemonics.

Using a Memory Palace, on the other hand, is also an art unto itself. It’s in using the Memory Palace that the real memory magic happens because the other tools of mnemonics come into play:

Magnetic Association and Recall Rehearsal.

So the irony is that you really can improve as a Memory Palace architect merely by blueprinting. But the only true growth and depth if insight takes place when you dive in and spend some time inside your mnemonic creation.

 

3. The Memory Palace Must Be Drawn

 

I spent a long time creating Memory Palaces based on what I read in books. But never once did anyone suggest drawing out a Memory Palace.

Looking back, this strikes me as insane. Every advantage I’ve experienced and principle I’ve discovered for creating well-formed Memory Palaces comes from getting pen and pencil in hand.

And in nearly every case, the drawn Memory Palace works far better than one that is merely imagined on its own.

Since teaching this important principle, I’ve received hundreds upon hundreds of Memory Palace drawings from people. They don’t always follow the key principles of identifying certain core Magnetic Stations.

But because they’ve drawn the Memory Palace, it’s easy for us to look together and better strategize the mnemonic journey they’ll be using to learn and remember their topic.

 

4. Small Sets Of Info Enter Long-Term Memory
With Greater Ease Than Monster Lists

 

Although any mnemonist can Magnetically encode and memorize large amounts of information, there’s a difference between short term and long term recall.

And if you want the amount of info in your mind that only a mnemonics dictionary can provide…

Long-term retention is always the goal.

Think about it in business terms:

Maximizing the return on time and energy invested is the key factor.

But because not all information is created equal, no reasonable person can expect a fast and solid guideline that applies across the board.

The amount of Recall Rehearsal needed for some words may be more than others. You might encode one mathematical formula once and hold it in memory forever and require more exposure to another, even if it’s technically easier.

That said, Recall Rehearsal, based on Dominic O’Brien’s Rule of Five, is a go-to starting point.

Modify from there based on your needs and work with small sets of information for each recall session so you maintain focus over the long haul. You’ll get more information into long-term memory by working with small sets over the course of a month than you will by cramming.

 

5. Never Cave Into Self-Critical Perfectionism And Judgment

 

Judging the appropriateness of my Magnetic Imagery plagued me for far too long.

No, I’ve never been a prude. But I was raised to be a gentleman and had suffered some abuses to my imagination from a religious upbringing that caused me concern as I developed my memory skills.

Don’t fall prey to internal or external judgment.

Memory techniques work best when you eliminate the stress of judgment. Although the associations you make might seem extreme, they’re just in your mind. Chances are you’ll even forget them anyhow, holding only the target information in mind.

Likewise, don’t let perfection get in the way. The Magnetic Memory Method shows you the best ways to proceed, but again, the map is not the territory. You’ve got to dive in, take action and even make the odd mistake. Without taking action, you cannot learn.

Knowing what I know now and having experienced the absolute power a superb memory brings, I wish I’d known these five things in advance. They are game changers when you have large learning projects.

And as we all know, time is so short in this life.

I hope this set of 5 hindsights help you avoid some of the problems I faced so you can race straight to getting results with the mnemonics dictionary you’re building in your mind.

So, what are you waiting for?…

Ready, set, memorize!

The post Want To Become A Mnemonics Dictionary? 5 Powerful Secrets Revealed! appeared first on Magnetic Memory Method - How to Memorize With A Memory Palace.

It happens. We all have verbal diarrhea from time to time.

Sometimes we say something we think is funny. Other times we’re just being rude.

Heck, sometimes we don’t even know why we get the feeling we’ve said something wrong or offensive.

For whatever reason, often within seconds…

Ours words suddenly rub us the wrong way.

Worse:

The bad feeling that won’t go away starts to itch…

It may even burn, sometimes leading us to say even more ludicrous things that make us feel even worse.

Once those words are out there … they’re out there.

The worst thing of all:

 

This Problem Chews Up Your Mental Space And
Memory Resources!

 

Make no mistake:

The things we say can be damaging.

Very damaging, especially regarding how others perceive us and how we perceive ourselves.

But it’s probably our self-perception that takes the hardest hit, especially if we have OCD tendencies and repeat words and phrases in our minds.

(That happens to me a lot, along with earworms.)

 

The “Childish” Reasons People Self-Punish

 

Ultimately, no one knows why we self-punish.

It could be that our bodies and minds are trying to build up energy to deal with the pain. But we do it in a childish way.

Ludwig Wittgenstein has been credited with originating the story of the child who made his way into a cocktail party.

While there, the child banged his knee on a table and started crying loudly.

“There, there” said all the adults when they saw his bloodied knee.

And the adults continued cooing at the child to comfort him as they applied rubbing alcohol and a bandaid to the wound.

Now imagine the same cocktail party.

This time, instead of a child, a grown man bangs his knee.

He feels the exact same pain and his wound produces the same amount of blood.

But the difference is that the man does not bawl in public.

Instead, the grownup observes silently that he has banged his knee and excuses himself to the washroom.

There, he finds the rubbing alcohol on his own and administers a bandaid.

 

Do You Scream In Silence?

 

Why does the man do all of this in silence instead of crying his heart out?

Simple:

Social conditioning over the years has not changed the nature of the pain or the work needed to care for the wound.

But social conditioning has changed the nature of what makes for an appropriate response to the pain.

According to some self-punishment theories, even the maturest of adults have minds that still need conditioning so that they respond in mature ways to mental pain.

 

Exactly How To Mature Your Mind And
Stop Mentally Punishing Yourself

 

I don’t know about you, but in my past, I’ve called myself an idiot for the verbal mistakes I’ve made at least a thousand times.

In fact…

I’ve said many things worse than that to myself. And no, I’m not going to repeat them.

But I’ve come to understand that they were just the signs and symptoms of an untrained mind. There was nothing wrong with that mind. It just hadn’t been matured.

And although this self-punishment still happens once in awhile, I’ve learned to settle the self-abuse down.

The cure mostly comes down to a combination of relaxation, mindset and huge respect for memory and the practice of memory improvement and maintenance over many years.

Here are four ways I’ve dealt with the self-punishment so that it no longer chews up memory power, no longer bashes self-esteem and no longer has the power to reduce life satisfaction:

 

Tip #1:
Learn The Scary Truth About Social Inattention

 

Here’s a power reality:

A HUGE percentage of the things we say to others tend to be forgotten.

In fact, thanks to something called inattentional blindness, most people barely perceive what you’re saying at all.

Why?

Because the people you’re talking to are barely paying attention.

Even if they were, human memory is flawed in your favor.

If the minds of other people are barely tracking a tenth of what you’re saying, they are encoding far less than that into memory.

 

The Ultimate Proof That Few People
Remember What You Say

 

Want proof?

Go ahead and study yourself when listening to others and I think you’ll find that it’s true.

You’re not focused like a laser on what they’re saying.

You’re not enjoying photographic memory, nor recording everything like a video camera.

Quite the opposite.

The truth?

 

Your Mind Is All Over The Place!

 

More than half the time, you’re thinking about what you’re going to say next. You’re probably even obsessively repeating what you want to say in your mind so you won’t forget.

The rest of your conscious mind is either thinking about the past, the future or fantasizing about some alternate present.

This significant amount of brain activity means that you’ll miss entire details completely.

All this happens despite the fact that you’ll be experiencing reality as an unbroken continuity.

Scary, but true.

What this all means is that when you say inappropriate things, you shouldn’t get too worried about it and start flagellating yourself.

You also shouldn’t start self-punishing yourself for having the attention span of a goldfish (you don’t).

But if you get all hot and bothered about something you said, the best trick I know is to confront the feeling head-on.

Just ask the person point blank:

“Did what I said about x a little earlier offend you? Because I apologize if it did.”

Chances are you’re the only one bothered by what you said, and it’s probably already been forgotten – assuming it was registered in the first place.

If you punish yourself at all for things you’ve said, please take up this practice of publicly confronting this feeling.

You will feel tremendous relief when you do.

 

Tip #2:
Take Responsibility For Your Verbal Oil Spills

 

As I’ve just suggested, one great solution to managing your anxiety about verbal diarrhea is to confront it directly. If you’ve said something that bothers you, don’t be afraid to draw attention to it.

And go in prepared to do so.

Decide to be a conscientious conversationalist and own up to every faux pas you make.

In other words:

If you say something that either is insulting or you feel could be interpreted as insulting, be the one to call yourself out on it.

What’s the worst that can happen?

The answer is simple:

The worst that can happen is that people think you’re weird…

Not such a bad thing, is it?

In all likelihood, they’ll probably appreciate you more and admire you.

Why?

Because you take ownership over your mouth – even if they never noticed the thing you said in the first place.

 

Tip #3:
Always Be Cool

 

I can’t always pull it off the Always Be Cool rule due to food sensitivities and psoriasis arthritis.

Unfortunately, even with the strict dietary controls I place on my diet, it’s impossible to know the location of every farm and every nibble eaten by every chicken.

So yes, some things send me into a conniption that can last far too long. But overall, I’m generally a calm and cool guy.

I owe that stability to a few things.

The first is regular meditation. I practice multiple kinds, mostly structured around the sit-just-to-sit variety I learned from an Alan Watts recording.

I’ll also practice Savasana, breath-withholding and walking meditations that incorporate a bit of both. (Yes, you can lay down in parks during walks.)

Use Memory Techniques Everyday For Mental Relief

 

Second, I use memory techniques everyday. For reasons that go beyond learning.

Make no mistake:

A lot of people use memory techniques as a means to an end, which is great.

That’s what memory techniques are there for.

Learning a new language, remembering numbers, remembering names, and more.

Why Memory Techniques Are
Better Than Psychoanalysis

 

But there’s also tremendous therapy to be had from memory techniques. They make you feel confident, composed and relaxed.

These outcomes are especially important when you’re a guy like myself who is always fighting for stability and hoping to stay off medication to do it.

If you want the background to that story, here’s a video from quite some time ago when I declared I was going on the psychopharmaceutical sauce for good:

As brave as I sound in that video, it was actually one of the scariest things I’ve done in my life.

But everything worked out.

Why?

The answer is simple:

 

Memory Techniques + Meditation =
The Perfect Time Machine

 

When you practice meditation and memory, you’re always more in the moment.

In other words, you’ve got a “time machine” that keeps you focused on the present.

Why is being present so cool?

Because true presence means that you’re paying attention to what you’re saying BEFORE you say it.

And that’s the ultimate solution to self-punishment:

Pre-awareness that prevents you from making the kinds of errors you punish yourself for in the first place.

 

Tip #4:
Learn To Listen To Yourself And Others

 

This one is going to require a bit of self-analysis and the study of others. It might also be considered half-lunacy, as Freud himself noted in his General Introduction to Psychoanalysis lectures.

Beyond that, the premise is that we all unconsciously encode messages in the things we say that seek to communicate what we’re really thinking.

We typically tend to send these messages in the form of the stories we tell or off-handed remarks. They can be attempts at manipulation, retaliation or simply telling truths too dangerous for our conscious mind to handle.

I learned to spot the tendency to encode information unconsciously in myself and others from Robert Langs.

Langs was a controversial figure with whom I underwent Communicative Psychotherapy in New York. His style of therapy is based almost entirely on dream interpretation in a situation in which death anxiety is deliberately invoked by the therapist.

Langs died recently and I’m still stunned by his passing.

He seemed like one of those timeless figures who would always be around, particularly because his ideas were so impactful and larger than life.

Although I only spent six months in weekly sessions with him, in addition to reading his books, my time with Langs completely changed my way of living and communicating.

How To Get The Best Psychotherapy
In The World At Very Little Cost

 

The best way to learn how to spot your unconscious communications without the help of a therapist is to journal your dreams. You’re not going to try and interpret them as such, but just get a feeling for the kinds of narratives that come up.

In a session with Langs, he would ask you to narrate one or more dreams. He would then have you free associate to it and recite whatever came to your mind.

This task always brought up a lot of irrational resistance in me. There was never any reason not to tell Langs the things that came to my mind, but yet it would often seem threatening to do so. Sometimes the resistance would bring the session to a complete shutdown.

Gradually I learned to open up and reveal the connections that would come up in my mind. I couldn’t always do it, but Langs would always ask what the dream and how I related it had to do with him.

It was always a perplexing question, but I’ll never forget the day I finally drummed up the courage to start answering it.

Because the truth is that when we tell stories to others, there does always seem to be some comment we’re making on the present situation and the person to whom we’re speaking.

So if you can find someone to whom you can tell your dreams and who can hear what you’re REALLY saying, this is a great way to practice the awareness of what you’re saying in any conversation.

And you can learn to listen to others better too. That doesn’t mean judging them or necessarily telling them what you’ve perceived. But it will help you form better ideas about the real messages you’re receiving and shape how you respond in more sensitive ways.

 

Ready To Stop The Self-Punishment?

 

Although it won’t necessarily happen overnight and may still recur from time to time, you can get a handle on punishing yourself for saying stupid things.

Just use the tips above and you’ll start to see a difference immediately.

And if you’re interested in learning more about how self-directed dream therapy can help, I recommend getting my video course with its bonuses, How To Remember Your Dreams.

In this course, you’ll learn more about hearing your true voice by unlocking an aspect of memory improvement that you’ve likely never considered before.

Use Coupon Code “DREAM” and take $50 off your tuition in this exclusive memory improvement course. Alternatively, you can get How to Remember Your Dreams as part of the Magnetic Memory Method Masterclass.

You might want to take my free course on creating Memory Palaces first.

The choice is up to you and we’d love to hear you in the conversation below. What are your thoughts on defeating self-punishment for the stupid things we sometimes say and do?

The post How To Stop Punishing Yourself When You Say Stupid Things appeared first on Magnetic Memory Method - How to Memorize With A Memory Palace.